Letting go…and Being Home…

Relax My Dog -Puppy music -Music and sounds designed for dogs -improve separation anxiety, thunderstorm fears,stop crying dogs -http://www.relaxmydog.com

(Because this is in blog format, to read the full story please scroll right down to the bottom of the page and read “upwards”)

It’s Home for her now.
I know that.

“This is where I live now” She seems to say.

I should find that easy. But she used to live here -with me. The only world she ever wanted to be in.
I know she is safe, I can hardly begin to imagine what it’s like there, but it must be the best place ever…….

This is where people let go. They throw that tennis ball for a Ghost Dog one last time. They duck out, they cry their last tears, laugh their last laughs….then move on….

I wake many mornings with no sense of her, no presence, no slightest trace.
There is little option but to move on. Life is here, I am here. More days pass, it is almost a year since she left. Twelve Moons. Abandoned dog-sticks in our orchard are now broken, and tangled in two seasons of grass. I can no longer piece them together. Some I can no longer find.
But I still smile. From her, there is nothing but energy, happiness, contentment, love. Some call it Heaven….some the Rainbow Bridge. Others, the High Astral…..I have no names for it except “The Place where my Misty Lives Now.”

But every few days her presence returns, bringing a warm glow. And inside it, everything fits, nothing is out of place, or ever could be. And she seems to say:

“I don’t intend to forget you”
“Yeah yeah yeah”
“I still love you”
“Hmmmm….ok…..”
Now I’m laughing….she’s moving in on me again. If I didn’t know this was a dog, I’d think it had to be a Spirit Guardian, maybe even an Angel…. Love so strong, so enduring, so compassionate….
All is well.
(I know. I feel it.)

“Talk to me. I know you can talk. Tell me about what it’s like where you live. Dogs are supposed to be able to talk when they get to Heaven.”

(Just a wave of love) My heart is brimming with laughter and love now, playing in a meadow, and all is indeed well. Is that all I need to know? Maybe that’s all anyone needs to know?

“Tell me everything.”

(??)

(Telepathy doesn’t work most of the time. My telepathy is rubbish.)

“Got to go now. I’ll come back….”
“Come to see me if ever you want to…whenever you can. I’ll still be here…”

(No words….but another touch of love)

“In the meantime, go where you need to go, do what you need to do. I let go of you….Let go -see? Poof! Like a big balloon into the sky….”

I almost see her, in my mind’s eye, racing back for home, where golden light makes rainbows on dewdrops, where twilight is always shades of blue and pink, where stars are so huge, and flowers so scented, they take your breath away.

OK I know…… dash off then little one.

“Oh -” I say as she starts to run; “-Did I mention…?”
“What?”
“Thank you.”

Then in the same mind’s eye, I see her turn around, cast me a look over her shoulder and say:
” I’ll be back. Because that’s what I want to do.”

Go on then….Run now…

Seeya girl……

(Misty and I also have a website! http://www.dog2spirit.com
Visitors welcome! This is similar to our blog here but with some extra bits added on)

I made you feel my love

Eight Moons

 

(Gabriel’s Oboe and the Falls -Ennio Morricone)

It is now February 2013. It is eight months since Misty left. I can no longer say ‘died’.
She returns often. On average, every two weeks, but sometimes more frequently. Still herself, still with her own invisible pattern of character that I would recognize anywhere. But now it is as if the essence of her has distilled. What I always knew as her particular energy is now more focussed, more definite and strong, and always returns to me filled with affection.

How can I tell for sure this is true? Not a figment of my imagination? I send her my love, at times she appears to be ‘far away’. What I send out seems to go nowhere. I miss her of course. I miss the life we used to share. Between her visits there are times I am close to sadness. But I raise my feelings, send her my love, as I always promised I would, then I let go, and carry on with normal life.
A short time later -out of the blue- I sense her ‘answering call’. A warm and happy wave of her affection. Sometimes it stays, sometimes it flits away again. But I am struck by those moments. How could I feel sad? She senses me, senses my ray of love, knows I have not forgotten, and returns the short message, that, if it were spoken would sound something like: “I copy. I am still with you.”
Thus, we stay in touch. She comes back for a proper “visit” when she is good and ready. I am beginning to get used to that now.

I have no way of knowing if her “return” to me involves being literally beside me (in an etheric sense), or if her “visit” is more of an attunement of the frequencies necessary to get close to me -from where she now dwells.
I don’t know, and so far, have no way of knowing. It doesn’t matter. We -being Human- give so much of our energy to analysis , technical explanations. She relies on what feels right at the time, from her unfettered heartfelt state. Love is, so love attunes, draws near, recalls……Her love just is -and has no analytical concept of the dimensions it crosses to touch another Heart. In those moments, there is no separation.

I know this does her no harm. She chooses this. How can I tell? The sense of boundless strength and grace in her when I perceive her “presence”. My intuition (I know her so well), that these contacts bring her joy.
They bring me joy too. Who would ever have imagined that the death of my friend, my companion, my ‘little sister’, would have brought me that?

There have been no more successful out-of-body experiences, so far. I may be very wrong but am beginning to think the two that occurred were a Grace. Beyond my striving and willing. Given as a momentary gift. Just as I sensed they might be. For that I am filled with more gratitude than I can express. But I don’t close my mind to the possibility that they may happen again. I will see what the future brings.

Misty and I lived the happiest of ordinary lives. She lifted and healed certain things in me with her simple grace, and little light of love. Those things can never have the power to darken me again. Thanks to her, and her unconditional love.

What IS ‘unconditional love’?

Love that just is. Just because it is. Just because it cannot imagine being anything else. That is its very nature, and it lives in its very nature.

She now shines a beacon for me, showing me the way, and opening up things in my heart I had once rejected.
Blessings and thanks to you little Soul.

“I copy……I am still with you….”

__________________________________________

(I would like to mention another website which may be helpful for anyone who is mourning the loss of a beloved animal companion:)
http://do-animals-have-souls.info/

Soul of a dog

 She liked this music (American Beauty Soundtrack)

For those who read   Misty’s Blog -you will know that on June 5th 2012 she succumbed to Hemangiosarcoma. This fit, happy, almost supernormally-strong dog, who defied all signs of aging (she was nearly 15) -lay down on her bed on the night of the 4th June, and couldn’t get up. I watched her all through that night, waiting -as advised- for her internal bleeding to stop. It might have done. It had stopped before, and recovering her strength, she had got on with life. She had a great will to live. She was an outdoor dog, never happier than when ranging for miles through fields and woods, and as her years advanced, she showed no signs of slowing-down.

I always thought there was something unusual about this. Most 14-year-old dogs do not have the exercise capacity, strength or agility of a four year old. But Misty had. In  March I observed as she approached a three foot high wire fence, saw no way under or through it, and launched herself into the most beautiful, graceful leap, clearing the top of it with ease, and landing gently in the grass, to spin round and ask for the frisbee to be thrown.

Seeing how she lived like that every day, how she had basic good health, with no chronic conditions, and also how she surmounted any odds (two lots of successful breast surgery in the Spring of 2012) I was convinced she had many years still in her, and hoped she would die an “old lady”, in her bed aged perhaps eighteen. It was feasible.

I had never known a dog like her; a good girl, obedient, sociable, loving, loyal and sweet-natured, with an elegance and grace of character of such an exquisite kind I had never met before in a dog.

She was my dog. I have no children, but even so, I never felt that she was my “baby”. She was never treated as a baby, but as a dog. But a strange dog. There was  no species-barrier,  she was sister to me, companion, equal, the one I loved. In life it was just the two of us, as friends and most of my family had died.

Yes I was her protector, but equally, she was mine. Thanks to her companionship she restored me to the place I belonged.

However, on that last night, I was the one in charge. At 6am, with no improvement, instead, a sudden worsening of symptoms, and with a dreadful prognosis for her blood cancer, I made the terrible decision protectors often have to make. To have her euthanized.

She passed away quickly and peacefully. The whole procedure took only five seconds. I heard her last breath being taken as I held her gently, whispering to her to go to sleep, that it was alright now. After that last breath an awful silence started. A silence like no other.

Her body went to the earth, for she had always loved the earth, her feet had always smelled of it. I planted flowers above her, and a little solar light to shine out in the darkness.

And my grieving began. I had never known a devastation like it.